The Tale of a Secretary, Chapter VII: That Which Hath No Name

Prerequisites:
Committee report
The Tale of a Secretary, Chapter I: Scenery of Salvation
The Tale of a Secretary, Chapter II: Introduction to a Diligent Task
The Tale of a Secretary, Chapter III: The Smiling Man
The Tale of a Secretary, Interlude: Mr. Reed's Everyday Life
The Tale of a Secretary, Chapter IV: Trahison D'être
The Tale of a Secretary, Chapter V: Reaching the Rubicon
The Tale of a Secretary, Interlude II: Existential Angst
The Tale of a Secretary, Chapter VI: Eschatology Blues


The last crescendo of the eschatology blues died out as the dust settled upon the now scarred Cathedral Street. The massive building that once had borne the clock tower was reduced to debris. The tower itself had fallen neatly, its imposing structure now lying across several streets. It had retained most of its structural integrity - a telling sign of the superior workmanship that had constructed it - but much of the surrounding stonework had been pulverized into fine dust that made breathing agonizing.
Libel, being unencumbered and all, had increased the distance between himself and the explosion at a higher rate than John and Amanda and was now franticly trying to clear the rubble away from them. The dust was thick and made his eyes water. He could hear sirens in the distance and knew that a lot of people, including the watch, would soon arrive. Few things passed unnoticed in the City and surely this explosion would attract more than a mild interest from the law.
“Pesky watchmen! Always interfering...”, Libel muttered to himself as he pushed a blackened brick off Reed's back, at last freeing the man and helping him to his feet. As a true gentleman Reed had shielded the unconscious Amanda with his body. The pressure from the explosion had dislodged Reed's hat, but that was not the only reason for his concerned expression.
“You didn't hit her too hard, did you?”, he asked Libel, motioning at Amanda.
“Heh, considering her that thick head of hers I don't think I could have caused much damage.”, Libel replied. “Let's move. We better put some distance between ourselves and this mess.”
“Agreed.”, Reed said and picked up the motionless form of the woman.
Then they ran.

The City has many alleys and dark places, as surely has been mentioned before, and it was by means of the shadows that the troupe avoided being seen by curious eyes as they made their way back to the docks and to safety. Amanda remained unconscious for the entire ordeal so the men placed her on a makeshift bed. She hadn't contracted any serious injuries and apart from her inability to wake up the men weren't overly concerned with her condition.
An unfamiliar sense of relief filled them. To finally have their lost deciple back under their roof brought back bittersweet memories of sun-filled days and laughter. They were bittersweet because they were lost and never to return. Some things are final and Amanda's betrayal had created an event horizon from which there were no going back. By her actions she had erected a seemingly irrevocable barrier of deceit. But her last words and conduct in front of the clock tower cast a ray of doubt on the finality of the matter. It had seemed to the men like she had been trying to warn them, that the destruction of the clock tower was meant to be their demise and that Amanda, at the last moment, had decided to turn on them and save the duo.
The two men both had the same question in mind: Had Amanda realized her mistake? Had her mind cleared, so to speak?
Suffice to say, they were both anxious for her awakening.

An eerie stillness possessed the warehouse. The atmosphere was full of anticipation, discordant feelings at the very edge of consciousness assaulted the men. Their pride in being men of reason helped little to stave off the turmoil within. Reed and Libel needn't look at each other to sense that one was just as eager as the other to confront the betrayer. Silently they wondered whether this would mark a beginning or an end. Either way, a bargain had to be struck, a decision had to be made. There was only one direction to move: Forward. They were both oh so familiar with this, their resolution firm, both knowing that those dwelling in the self pity of the past are always doomed to be left behind.

Opening her eyes was a painful experience to Amanda. Not only did her head feel like it was about to explode, but she also found herself face to face with her worst nightmare. In confronting Reed and Libel she was also confronting herself, and that was the one single thing the feared the most. Not that she consciously thought that, for such things too often lie beneath the surface of the mind. Her fears had always manifested themselves in fierce denial. Only at the very last second, at the moment the clock tower was to take both her and her saviors, did she let her guard down. What she saw in herself hadn't been pretty, but she had forced herself not to recoil with disgust. She had held the mirror and seen herself in all her human glory. Needless to say, the experience had left her spent.

“I understand now.”, Amanda said quietly, looking into the eyes of the men leaning over her. “I finally understand what you meant.”
Libel drew a breath and cleared his throat.
“What do you mean?”, he asked.
“That one needs to look at the world with eyes unclouded by fear. That one needs to be aware. Not only of the world around, but also of the world within. I finally understand.”
“I care little for those who wax poetic. Speak plainly, woman, or not at all!”, Reed snarled. The anger in his voice was apparent and Amanda cringed under his scorching gaze.
“Calm yourself.”, Libel urged.
“Why? This woman, this snake, have herself relinquished all rights to be counted among those who deserve respect! Her crime is that she willingly let herself descend. She chose her path!”
“Calm yourself.”, Libel repeated. “Living comes easier for some than for others. Do not chastise her for being weaker than you. Instead, be glad that you are able to withstand things which others are not. Have... sympathy.”
“Sympathy?”, Reed mocked. “She deserves none.”
“I think that you would agree that the worst that could ever happen from her point of view would be for her to see clearly. To truly understand what she has brought upon herself. Regardless of whether she deserves anything or not, she has taken one more step towards liberation.”
“Yes...”, Amanda whispered. “I wish I were dead...”