The Worst Possible Insult
The purpose of an insult is to produce a reaction. Preferably one that involves anger, shame, tears and/or utter mental breakdown. The stronger the reaction the better.
In short, to insult means to OMGWTFPWN1 someone to oblivion and we all like to do that once in a while.
There are various methods one can use to reach the desired goal. Some popular ones include the use of the target’s mother, which, in my opinion, is too impersonal to be of any real use. A good insult should be based on the personal shortcomings and failures of the insulted rather than maternal influences and occurrences that are beyond conscious control.
Insulting is no laughing matter and should be carefully planned and carried out with perfection.
Timing is crucial. Delivery is everything. Observe and wait for the perfect opportunity and then strike. Strike hard. Use what you loathe in your target, conjoin it with half-truth and formulate it so that he or she fully grasps the magnitude of your malicious intent.
The worst possible insult would be not to insult, under circumstances where you find your mark to be beneath insult and worthless to the truest extent of the word. To not care - not even despise - to that degree is the worst thing you can subject someone to. It far kinder to hate, since hating at least attaches value (albeit a negative one).
This means that real insulting only can occur when you have no need of insults anymore, thus rendering The True Ultimate Insult™ inadvertent, superfluous and pointless.
If you still decide to use this approach there is one small obstacle: The plebeians are not aware of your scorn. There is no point in such an elaborate plot that the subject doesn’t even realize what just has happened. The satisfaction of result, the sought after reaction, is lost. There are no tears and no dread. No kind men in white coats.
So, to practice The Ultimate Insult™ you need to hold a known grudge (all involved along with their pets, aunts, doctors and plants must be aware of your ill feelings) towards someone not quite as smart as me, hope that the poor bastard understand what you are up to and react accordingly by having a nervous breakdown. After that you can sit back, admire your work and simply ignore them to insanity.
But what if the insulting non-insult is understood? Would not the perfect answer to that be to not acknowledge being insulted? To hide the reaction. That has the potential to nullify the very purpose of the insult, making it backfire. Assuming the insulter is fooled to believe he has failed, that is.
Such folly!
1Oh my God what the fuck-own2
2A word to express superiority rather than ownership. Like many Internet expressions ‘pwn’ originates from a typo. ‘P’ is right next to ‘O’ on a QWERTY-keyboard.
There are also theories that it’s a contraction of ‘perfect own’ or ‘power own’. It may also be that it derivates from ‘porn own’, if you consider people that has a large collection of pornographic material to be superior.
Some say it first surfaced in the early 90’s in the MUD3 scene while others claim that it’s an old hacking term. The truth is that no one really cares anyway.
3Multi User Dungeon. A tedious, text based version of today’s MMORPG’s4.
4Check here for more information about MMORPG’s.
In short, to insult means to OMGWTFPWN1 someone to oblivion and we all like to do that once in a while.
There are various methods one can use to reach the desired goal. Some popular ones include the use of the target’s mother, which, in my opinion, is too impersonal to be of any real use. A good insult should be based on the personal shortcomings and failures of the insulted rather than maternal influences and occurrences that are beyond conscious control.
Insulting is no laughing matter and should be carefully planned and carried out with perfection.
Timing is crucial. Delivery is everything. Observe and wait for the perfect opportunity and then strike. Strike hard. Use what you loathe in your target, conjoin it with half-truth and formulate it so that he or she fully grasps the magnitude of your malicious intent.
The worst possible insult would be not to insult, under circumstances where you find your mark to be beneath insult and worthless to the truest extent of the word. To not care - not even despise - to that degree is the worst thing you can subject someone to. It far kinder to hate, since hating at least attaches value (albeit a negative one).
This means that real insulting only can occur when you have no need of insults anymore, thus rendering The True Ultimate Insult™ inadvertent, superfluous and pointless.
If you still decide to use this approach there is one small obstacle: The plebeians are not aware of your scorn. There is no point in such an elaborate plot that the subject doesn’t even realize what just has happened. The satisfaction of result, the sought after reaction, is lost. There are no tears and no dread. No kind men in white coats.
So, to practice The Ultimate Insult™ you need to hold a known grudge (all involved along with their pets, aunts, doctors and plants must be aware of your ill feelings) towards someone not quite as smart as me, hope that the poor bastard understand what you are up to and react accordingly by having a nervous breakdown. After that you can sit back, admire your work and simply ignore them to insanity.
But what if the insulting non-insult is understood? Would not the perfect answer to that be to not acknowledge being insulted? To hide the reaction. That has the potential to nullify the very purpose of the insult, making it backfire. Assuming the insulter is fooled to believe he has failed, that is.
Such folly!
1Oh my God what the fuck-own2
2A word to express superiority rather than ownership. Like many Internet expressions ‘pwn’ originates from a typo. ‘P’ is right next to ‘O’ on a QWERTY-keyboard.
There are also theories that it’s a contraction of ‘perfect own’ or ‘power own’. It may also be that it derivates from ‘porn own’, if you consider people that has a large collection of pornographic material to be superior.
Some say it first surfaced in the early 90’s in the MUD3 scene while others claim that it’s an old hacking term. The truth is that no one really cares anyway.
3Multi User Dungeon. A tedious, text based version of today’s MMORPG’s4.
4Check here for more information about MMORPG’s.
posted by J.P. Reed at 03:12
2 Comments:
Such an aggravatingly well-written post! My hat goes off to you, Sir. About the "ignore them to insanity", the insanity is to befall a hypothetical you or a hypothetical they?
I respond to any accusations of mental instability with a maniacal laugh. Bwahahahahaha!
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