The Peril of Dark Energy Crystals

Other articles from HARMONI-expo:
Introduction: A Trip Through The Human Mind
The New Time Energies and AuraTransformation™: A study on modern delusions and gullibility
The magic bullet of "classical" homeopathy
Revelations: Saint Germain and the Violet Flame

After a stroll through the land of fairies and hobgoblins I finally ended up at the crystal stand. What I saw - or rather didn't see - left me dumbstruck and frustrated my hopes of finding the sought-after bluish New Age crystals. What self-respecting crystal selling scam artist wouldn't carry a wide range of said crystals?
When the shock finally subsided the outrage set in. If you're going to con people you're at the very least obligated give them something colourful and glimmering in return. The woman had other crystals, so this stop was not completely in vain.

When I inquired about the type of energy, or energies, with which the crystals could be imbued, she threw some nonsensical statement at me. That wasn't what I was looking for, so I kept pressing her for an answer. I wanted to know if I would be able to charge it with the mysterious dark energy (that according to current estimates accounts for a total of three-quarters of the universe's energy.)
Since I obviously did not phrase my question properly, she misunderstood 'dark' to mean 'evil' and warned me that it indeed was possible, but that I would suffer the consequences if I used the crystals for bad.

Almost right off the bat I could tell that she was bullshitting me - she didn't believe. Unlike all other unconscious scammers, her tone of voice and various nonverbal cues gave her away.
So what's the point in exposing this poor woman as a con artist? Why this great foofaraw, the reader might wonder. I admit that we are beating it, but the horse is far from dead. If this had been an entertainment expo I wouldn't have had a problem with any of this, but to part a fool from his money under false pretenses just isn't funny. Well, it is, but it's most definitely wrong.

During the expo I, too, fell prey to wishful thinking. I wanted to believe that all these people were just here for the freak show. Perhaps they were here to pass the time and exercise their risorius muscle. Perhaps every single one of them were undercover skeptics doing research for sarcastic blog posts.
Alas, when looking at the facts this does not seem to be the case. People actually buy this stuff, both literally and intellectually.
But then again, bullshit is tiring, and who am I to argue people out of their delusions?